  I'm Nuratikah, comes from Kota Tinggi. A 19 years old undergraduate student in UKM. A blog specially created for Computer Application course. Cute or not? Ehehe  Template & Skin by : Husnaa. Big help from : Wani | WHI | C4U | Una Image by : We♥It |
A Letter to The People Who I Love The most
Saturday, October 14, 2017 | 12:26 AM Dear Ayah and Ibu, Every time both of you asked whether I am okay or not, all I could say was "Ikah okay je kot". You know, it is hard to explain what actually there in your heart or mind. Every time when I was having problems or something that bothering me, I wish I could have ran into your bed and felt your arms around me, telling you what was actually there in my mind. But you are not here, right next to me. You are there, hundreds of kilometers away from me. I really wish I am able to explain to either of you about the pain; the pain I couldn't even explain to myself. I wish I had a reason to give to you both when you ask "why" and told you what was wrong.
I know it was hard to raise me; from the first day when I was born till now. I don't blame you for not understanding me but I just wish that both of you could at least try to understand me. I just want to let you know that when I said "I don't know", I really meant that I don't know.
I'm sorry for all my wrongdoings towards both of you. I am not a problematic daughter of yours, I am just a daughter with many problems. Problems? They are haunting me; days and nights. I sat every night in my bed, thinking on how to solve them. How I wish I could talked to both of you and asked for your opinions on that. Every time you ask, I know you want an answer; not that "I don't know" that I always give. Mom, dad; If I could find one, surely I will give it to you, but no, I don't have that. I can't tell you why I scream into my pillow at night. Because I swear, I don't know. I know you want me to be the best and I am trying my very best. It's just that I am not the best; I am too far from it. Too much people who are better than me. I hope you know that I tried. I hope both of you are not disappointed with me. I'm trying to make you proud, but I just can't. Sorry is all I could say. I know you love me. All those words that you said to me, you didn't meant to make me felling down; I know it. I'm trying to be better; to make you guys proud of me. I wish you could understand why I cry myself to sleep, almost every night. I wish you were here, would hug me whenever I need it. I know you love me; I do and WILL ALWAYS DO. That is one of the reasons why I am staying.
Sorry for not acting as a good daughter like those sons and daughters of your friends.
Thank you for every thing, too much that I couldn't list them. All I want you to know is I do love both of you.
Your only daughter,
Fatin Nuratikah.
|