Assalamualaikum wbt.

     Seems like I am back again with blog. Long time; yes, I haven't write for a very long time. It has been a long time since I left the world of expressing my feelings and thoughts into words. Shame on me, I had lost the ability to write. I don't know how to express my feelings through words anymore. Left blogger in 2013 and since then I became someone who can't control my anger and dissatisfaction anymore. I realized it; too bad I don't give a single shit on that.

     Grown up into this cold-hearted Atikah; I could not help myself. I don't know what to do. Back in my childhood, I learnt to write to release my anger, dissatisfaction, sadness etc. But as I grow up, I learnt to express those things with voice and actions. I would say anything, anything that I think is rational to me. No matter how outspoken I have being, there is still 'that old Atikah' inside of me who doesn't want to share her feelings and thoughts with anyone. I have my own best friends; that's true. BUT they are the type of person who manages to be friend with others; unlike me. Sometimes I really hate myself for not being able to mingle with anyone.

     I am tired, tired of faking my smile everyday. There are only two ways I use to express my feelings, anger bla bla bla; they are by shouting or crying. Ohmygod, seriously I am tired of myself. I look gloomier day by day (I am the only one who realizes it, perhaps).

     Some thinks that I don't even care about my life, thinks that I am too lazy to study and do my assignments. Excuse me, you are TOTALLY WRONG! You don't know me, even I DON'T KNOW MYSELF. To be honest,  I do really care about myself; my current and future life. I do study, I do my assignments; hello, should I report to you on every single thing I do?

    To be honest, I don't know why am I writing this kind of post. I just feel to. Sorry if you had to read this gibberish post (ceh cakap macam ada yang nak baca je ahahaha). Before I stop, I would like to express my gratitude to those who wants to be friend with this noob Atikah, who understands me and who helps me a lot in my life (back then, now and future).

   I am really grateful to have my girls, my family and those who really brings shine to my life. Without them, I am sure that my life would be more more and more hectic than it is now.

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